I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
