What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
