I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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