I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
