im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just google imaged poop.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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