Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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