Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
