So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
