i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
