Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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