You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
