OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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