i really wish james franco would like my vagina
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
