whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
