okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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