You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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