I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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