Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
