rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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