Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your penis caused this!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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