I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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