He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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