Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
