Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
