My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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