CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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