Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
