Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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