Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
