you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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