SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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