I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize