so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
