i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
