NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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