OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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