I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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