you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
