p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
