I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
