So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
