Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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