There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
