Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
