Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
