Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
