I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
