He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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