just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
