I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think people are normalizing furries
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
